Ah, the change. It has happened, with all the subtlety of a tidal wave. I am altered, I am changed. I have conversations in smoke shops until morning. I sneak into bars. I love with a love that is more than love, with no particular object to loose my affection on. I want revenge but for once, I do not seek it out. I am lonely, but I do not miss my past companions themselves. I merely miss adventurousness, and so I am recreating it. I work so much harder than I thought I could, and I am proud. I am learning forgiveness, and it's a delicate art.
I am not broken or damaged or hurt. I merely operate differently.

I am property, and that's alright. I do as I'm told, most of the time. I would rather belong to than merely belong.
I dream constantly.

Oh, what a whirling, twisting thing life is!

I shall make this clear and concise.

I believe our friendship has been built on lies and co-dependance. It has little hope of survival.

Let it be known that I do not hate you, but rather feel too little for you to amount to hate.
I do not identify with your irrepairably damaged soul anymore, so what can I feel?


I hope it is abundantly clear that you have long crossed the line of being able to toy with me as you have in the past, as you are now toying with the 'crimson ibis' that you called a whore. I am sure you have used similar terms to describe me to her, or else shall, now. You win your alliances at the expense of others, and time will show you how shallow are the graves in which you've buried your treasure. Less than two months ago,  I was the woman who you should have married. Less than a month ago, I was the only girl who's ever torn down your walls.
I know you are angry with me for what I told your wife, but that was the truth, do not deny it.
What you have told me are lies, and for all their kindness and my cruelty, I am the victor.
I am satisfied with who I am.

Will you continue to harm the things that love you until all your world is dust?

Sometimes I'm a fool. I leave the lock to my mind unlatched and that fiend Doubt comes and whispers things to me. Sick things, silly things.
Can you believe that you are not the only one of us two who can feel jealousy? And there's irony there, for yesterday the spark of that envy was jealous of me and some pretended lust in her beau's heart. The games the heart can play are cruel.

I don't want to keep your secrets for you. You can call me.

There is warmth and softness and grace in me, somewhere.

I love you, I love you, I love you. I'm just scared.


Can you tell me who holds God accountable?

 

I wonder, sometimes, at the wisdom and strength of your love.
I am as changeable a creature as you. I will not be the same girl I am now in six months, nor am I the same I was six months ago.
Can you stand such changeability?
I wonder, too, if you will want to stand by me when love is less an engulfing wave and more a thin thread between us.
But, as I did on december the twenty-sixth, over a year ago, I'll shove those thoughts into some dusty file cabinet in the catacombs of my thoughts.
I don't want to look at them.

Something is wrong with me today.
I can't connect with anyone or anything.

Forgive me, be as patient as I am with you.

 I'm waaaay sexier than a hooker.
No, we'll spot you first and circle from behind, then pounce.
Or mabye I'll just walk up to you and be all "Hey, kid."

Don't be mischevious or Ill purposely lose the dare.

:)

I'm not worried about it. You probably meant it, Chris, part of your heart has always been in her posession. That doesn't bother me. You aren't mine and when you are, I won't be like the other girls. I will know if  there are others. If you are supposed to be with me, you won't hurt me and go looking for lve in some other harlot's arms, because I will be enough, just as myself. And the same with you.
For now, I am just excited to see you, to be near you, to acually se the wrinkles in your face when you smile.
And you can see something better than a picture of my piercing that doesn't make y nose look massive.
 :) 

He's been trying with limited success
to get this girl to let him get into her dress
but every time he thinks he's getting close
she threatens death before he gets a chance
and she's been trying with limited success
to get him to turn out the lights and dance
cause like any girl all she really wants
is that fickle little bitch romance